When change is not optional...


 

The events of the past couple of years have left me (on the one hand) incredibly sad, but (on the other) almost equally angry over the human tendency to make certain “bad” things seem normal. Then there’s the “WTF do I do now that I’m retired from something like four careers, and disabled, at 77?”

So, after much deliberation (born of the forced introspection after shattering my hip a couple of years ago, and the surfacing of previously unknown family history), I figure I just need to hammer my keyboard into submission, for the purpose of at least making it clear as to my position re the situation in general. It also saves me (or VA, depending on how you look at it) hours of counseling support.

I’m not going to waste electrons on politics. What hit me harder were the revelations about my parents’ relationship, what they were involved in, and why they may have wanted to “protect” me in the early years by making me seem “normal” to others.

No laughing, there, bunkies...it’s actually fairly grounded, but not everyone can accept it.

Least of all me.

Then there is the diagnosis of ME/CFS two years ago, and the combination of frustration and feeling of betrayal around VA’s attitude toward it (and, by inference, me). ME is Myalgic Encephalomyelitis; CFS means Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. All I want to say at this point is that CFS is a feature of ME, but ME stands on its own, with the fatigue element being shared.

I dunno...this entire whacked-out project of “writing” may be just that.

But, as has been my personal goal forever, if what I write gets just one person to either feel OK that they’re not a one-in-a-million freak, or that maybe how they’ve been looking at critical life elements with a slanted eye...or not at all...or they see that they could never have an intelligent conversation with me and I don’t have to block them on social media (now you can laugh).

I think that’s it for today. Two mass shootings today (synagogue and university) have me off to a not-so-spiffy start, but I’ve also reinvented that part of me that refuses to surrender.

You can follow this conversation on my blog, elainealbertsonsblog.blogspot.com, and it’s non-monetized (ie., no advertising, no selling, etc.).

-30-

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