Crossing the Rubicon...Again.

Why, you might say? That is, if you’re awake and understand the basic meaning of the phrase.

I published a small essay a few months ago about crossing the Rubicon, as it was really appropriate to the situation at large at that time.

Therefore (LOL), I should not be attempting to “go for broke” more than once. There’s an extensive philosophical meaning to that phrase as well, from the Korean War. After these few weeks of meditation, introspection, and hard work toward finding a level of relative peace for whatever time I have left, the decision (or, lack of choices…) is to write until I can’t write anymore.

I really don’t know if what I’ve got to say is worth the read for any particular person, and unless the reader makes a comment, I won’t know if they’ve even visited the site. There is zero monetization in my work, and I don’t share any info about who may (or may not) be reading my high-level tripe.

My blog site does not collect any data about the poster, or, in other words, you aren’t tracked for any reason (at least not by my software...LOL).

I need to do the writing, and now rather than later, because that incredibly crappy (clinical term, there) feeling of foreboding continues to creep upward. The ME translates every bit of stress, whether physical or emotional, logarithmically, and it’s simply not pleasant. All that can be done, however, is in the addressing of symptomology, and therapy to avoid/manage triggering.

In short...I don’t believe there’s any time left for dissertation/commiseration/etc. It’s here.

So...if I have concerns about publishing, they’re like this: (1) the increase in stress, and the effect(s) of the ME; (2) while I’ve had a target on my back for being trans for 40+ years, I’ve found ways to deal with it in a productive way…but even the best methods can be less than adequate when the source of the threat increases, and; (3) while y’all have known I have seen this nightmare coming, I’ve not been (at least to my face) degraded for being a tin-hat...probably because, well, here we are.

So...we’ll see what shenanigans I can dream up later this evening.

-30-


 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turn right at the first star, then on ‘til morning...

Image
  Turn right at the first star, then on ‘til morning... Clinton, IA 1951 – Early August - Age 3 These were fairly stable times; the last world war had been over for some six years, but now we needed to cope with another “police action” that was rapidly becoming a full-out war that was called Korea. The economy, though, was strong. Not many troops were actually getting called to deploy to Korea at that time. Otherwise, money was stable, we had enough to eat, we kept our two vehicles in decent shape, and helped others when we could. I had a (mini) tank bicycle, and a white collie named Snowball. As I’ve mentioned earlier, I’d devoured the Britannica in less than six months. It was simply my idea of cool fun to read adult-level, post-grad science content. We had subscriptions to National Geographic and Life magazines, as well as the New York Times (in those days it was actually delivered either by hand by local carriers, or by USPS). I asked Mom if I c...
Read more

“It is a good day to die…” Or...how I got my call sign...

Image
  I can remember a time in the early 1960s when a purported quote from Chief Crazy Horse was making the rounds of the “coconut wireless” (today it’s the Internet). When faced with defeat, he supposedly said, “It is a good day to die!” with the implied meaning that he was being brave. Well, that’s not quite right. Yes, he was brave. No question. But, as explained to me by an Apache elder in ‘59, and later confirmed by an elder Lakota friend, the phrase is actually pronounced (more or less) “Ho-ka-hay.” The meaning is that, because we do not know the time of our going “end of watch,” we should live each day of our life as if it could be our last. Nothing for which to have to tender apology...no regrets. I sort of equate the concept to Camus’, “I live my life as if there was a God, and so if I find at the end that there really is a God, no worries.” The converse, of course, is that you live your life as if there is not a God, only to find at the end that there r...
Read more