Watch this space...or not...

Sun 6 Apr 2025

Sitting here at 1700 on a Sunday, almost finished wading through the day’s flood of what most folks consider “bad news.” There is also my reaching a reckoning on my own life, who I am, and what I should/need to be doing to remain healthy, and to continue to fulfill my primary ethical canons. Those are elements of oaths I willingly took to serve in the military (eg., protect the Constitution, etc.); to accept a position as a deputy sheriff (after the military); and to serve the God I profess to know and love (a legit, but non-traditional, ordainment by a district coordinator for the UFMCC denomination, in the 80s).

1940 hrs and still sitting here...but at least paying a bit of attention to a Dark Winds episode. Not bad...not bad at all.

Mon 7 Apr 2025

1200 Yup...still in front of the keyboard, but did take some time to try to sleep last night.

Had a tremendously healing, and empowering, talk with three women (they’re a family, living on an on-the-grid homestead), whom I’ve known now for over 20 years, and with whom I’ve served on Team Rubicon, the Community Emergency Response Team unit, and some other things more to do with music and such. Two of them are First Nations.

Bottom line is that I’ve grown to trust these gals, both individually and as an ‘ohana, and the discussion only cemented that sense of safety, and a loving objectivity.

Anyway...I’ve alluded off and on over the past few months, both personally and on social media, to a contact with a (very) distant blood family member, one who had always been known to be vindictive by choice, a little more than a year ago. I have had a fair amount of time (adequate, let’s say) to investigation of this person’s statements (to the extent allowable under applicable law).

My best friend said recently that I had been opening up maybe a bit more since before the election, but seemed to be still holding back.

Yup.

I’m done.

Holding back, that is; I’d rather spend these few last ME-shortened years following the Jimmy Carter principle. Not to feel “special,” or anything of the sort; just to feel that I’ve paid ample positive energy/work to the species in exchange for having led a fairly long, definitely interesting, and occasionally weird(?) life.

Hear me, though. I’ve no fiscal interest in any of this. Don’t even think about wasting your time and our communal electrons trying to game me.

So…

-30-





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